Two Homes, One Childhood: A Parenting Plan to Last a Lifetime

Emery, a family mediator and University of Virginia psychology professor, takes a new look at contemporary child custody arrangements, giving parents a plan designed to grow and change right along with the child. He offers divorced or otherwise separated couples a new mantra—”We have to be parents, so our kids can be kids”—to remind them their child’s needs, not their own, are primary. In “Part I: Parenting Across Two Homes,” Emery lists the pros and cons of shared or joint custody, outlining options and alternatives. He recommends that parents split decisions and time (not necessarily 50/50), maintain low levels of conflict, use “loving” discipline, and set limits. Success lies in a cooperative, businesslike relationship with the ex. Key considerations include “child-focused decisions,” fairness, creativity, and long-term planning. “Part 2: A Developmental Approach to Parenting Plans” comprises six chapters covering the different stages of a child’s life: infancy, toddlerhood, preschool, elementary school, adolescence, and, finally, the college years and beyond. Targeted suggestions steer parents through each phase. Emery’s wide experience with divorcing families informs this volume, making it appropriate for any couple with children going through a separation, whether amicable or contentious. Agent: Beth Vesel, Irene Goodman Literary Agency. (Aug.)